You are a heartless scoundrel,
an abortion of men,
a sleight of hand card trick
and I was your con of a lifetime.
You are an evil aberration,
A pervasive mistake
inhabiting the body of an angel.
You have ruined nature,
beauty and all that is good –
For your face is fair,
and your eyes are perfect stars
in the black sky of your heart
and I no longer trust the great sea,
wide forests or butterflies on roses
for they remind me of you.
In a broken hourglass
with sand falling like rain,
I committed myself to hell;
and only then in that moment
When I knew my soul was condemned
did I finally believe.
Not with some hopeless desire
that to hold him in my heart
would save myself from retribution.
Because I felt in my bones
at the time of the sin
my blood boiling,
my heart breaking
and divinity coming in.
On the eve of an eclipse
I walked alone to an empty beach that had come to me in a dream.
Then, as I almost remembered,
a thousand fragments from a forgotten childhood came to me:
The submarines and mermaids that were once there,
a little girl making dreams in the sand
as the waves watched on, kissing the cliffs
turning broken hearts to cotton candy,
but that was all gone.
At the top of a great mountain
looked on by a finally calm sea
I stared up and up,
to a sky of fractured clouds.
Then I jumped
and as I fell into the sea
the ashes on my skin were washed away,
the words that echoed in my head a thousand years
turned to dust of forgotten days.
My eyes, they dried
my heart, it finally healed.
Then as my lungs filled with water
my clothes ripped off.
So, I took my stolen dagger
and finally choose my way out.
Killed the girl I once was,
once an hour had passed
I dried up on an empty beach
Baby I’m a wildflower who grew in your garden,
among the orchards and the snowdrops from the winter.
I was your lucky little weed.
A daisy whose petals you could pluck at
to figure out who you loved.
Dreamt with me tangled up in your golden crown.
Kept me on a chain, wrapped around your wrist.
Or maybe I was a dandelion,
you blew out into the wind
longing for something else.
But you wasted your wishes on a dream,
lost your breath on an unwanted thing.
Until I was gone
and then you moved on.
Threw your little wildflower away
to find yourself a rose.